First Step...

The first step is the hardest step to take no matter what you are doing.

This is the step that will either set you up for failure (hopefully not) or for success (this is what you are always shooting for!!). But it is the possibility of the first possible outcome that keeps people from sometimes making that first step.

With this in mind I am still willing to take that first step.

This is who I am:

What this picture does not show you is that I am:
- 40 years old
- Have been overweight my entire life
- Dealing with a food addiction
- A binge eater
- Sometimes just want to give up
- I truly hate food and sometimes cry when I eat
- I will starve myself as I see food as an enemy that I cannot evade or loose
- Have lost my drive because I feel like I am the only person where I am at. (which I know in my mind is not true but my heart does not listen)
- Really good at justifying my life and my choices so I do not feel bad about the incorrect choices I have made
- Knows that all I have to do to get help for anything is just ask. But asking is hard

What this blog is going to help me do:
- Hopefully help me change my behavior one small step at a time
- Teach me that it is okay to let people know that you need help
- Learn that emotions are okay to have, to feel, and to show
- To learn to enjoy food not for the wonderful fattening foods that I love, let me say this again LOVE TO EAT, but for what food can truly be. The fuel that keeps me going with the flavors that I can enjoy and not feel guilty.
- Learn to accept me for me. So I do not feel like an outsider in my own skin.

Step one of my plan. Admitting all this to myself. Again the first step is the hardest one to take.